"I enjoy slapping Dick" - Bruce Wayne
I believe in Father BoxingIt's only fair, really.
I mean...there's a Father Christmas, why shouldn't Boxing Day have a Dad?
So, Father Boxing is my new tradition,
an icon for this day that we Canadians think of as a great day for shopping.
I would further remind everyone that I firmly believe the day after New Years should be called Wrestling Day.
Father Wrestling will be the symbol of that great holiday from this day forth.
Hooray for Father Boxing and his fellow side-kick Father Wrestling, may they always be the best icons representing next day after Santa and the Baby of the New Year they can be.
Huzzah!
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I was a teenage Satan ClawsEvery word is true.
When the full moon rose in the cold snow filled sky, I began my transformation.
Ho-ing, nodding and winking,
Twitching and writhing as I painfully mutated
into the Jolly one himself.
My teenage skin aging, washboard abs flabbing,
my metamorphosis a horror to witness.
Nobody knows the sheer terror that had become my life...
My life, as a teenage Santa Claus.
Merry Christmas, I hope you are all happy with yourself.
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Your daily inside joke: "You ruined Christmas".
Saying Merry Christmas is Cancerous...would be wrong, so I would never do that.
Welcome, to the 'Shit Jesus misses hearing you say' game.
Here is the home game version
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'I miss you saying (fill in the blank)' - Jesus
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Mari Christmas everly buddy, Hippy Hanukkah too
I saw Santa at the Bus StationNo shit.
As I was waiting for the GO bus home from Newmarket Station I saw a man with flowing white hair and beard, with a red hat with furry trim and pompom...you know...Santa's hat.
He had on a dark black overcoat, but underneath that, he had a red shirt.
I suspect he wore the black overcoat because it's not a working day, or he is working on something undercover.
I held open the door for Santa Claus at the bus station, and wished him a Merry Christmas as he passed.
"Merry Christmas" Santa said.
But that's not all, boys and girls.
I boarded the bus north, to Keswick, and who to my wondering eyes should board the bus but who, bu
Apocalyptic Shopping MeleeThe pepper spray was bad, but when the rubber bullets started flying I was really frightened.
Shoppers being trampled and tasered
We surged forward mindlessly, like cattle to slaughter.
Death itself could not stop us from our quest.
The sweet sweet taste of Christmas Chocolate, reduced 50%.
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Thinking about that corpse is funnySo here's how thinking about a dead body could make a person laugh.
I once heard this story about a man that killed his wife.
This guy then took a taxi to the airport.
He asked the cab driver to help him with a heavy suitcase.
"How heavy is it?"
"Heavy".
So unsuspecting cabbie helps the guy.
The guy leaves the suitcase at the airport, and flees.
His wife's body was discovered inside the bag when the airport authorities investigated the abandoned luggage.
So...when you get to 2:09 in this video
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qc8ZbVcdHpg&feature=email&email=comment_reply_received
You may see how my mind is going an entirel
